At the Gate of Madness
by Yumeshojo
Summary: It's time to close the gate to the Shivering Isles. Adora is turning into the Madgod, and must say goodbye to her best friend, the solitary guardian of the gate, whom she has made her companion and confidant as she's traveled between the two lands. Female!Champion of the Shivering Isles X Gaius. Oneshot.


**Tis not much, but I started this a while back and finally dabbled on to the end. Yet another oneshot for a random, under-appreciated character. This time, it's the guard to the Gate of Madness added by the Shivering Isles expansion: Gaius! I rather liked him, despite his doing pretty much nothing. He was a nice constant, there to greet me as I came and went...I roleplay too much ;p That's how these are born lol. I do love their banter in this one. I tried to challenge myself not to just do a "love confession" story - I never even used the word "love" between the two characters here. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!  
**

* * *

She steps out of the portal joining what was now her world to the one she's known her whole life; the place she was born, raised, and has called home for over twenty years. The water stretches out, a glistening blanket that never ceases to fill her with wonder. She's an Anvil girl, or at least she was, and she'll miss the waters of her homeland. But what she'll miss most...

Gaius is seated at the bottom of the steps, the blade that is his eternal companion strapped to his hip, helmet for once discarded at his feet. She can tell from the slump in his shoulders, the weary curve of his back, and lull in his neck that he's tired. Half exhausted, worn down, and, of course, bored. She smiles and slips onto the stone beside him. He doesn't move.

"Some guard you are," she comments idly, staring off again out over the water.

"What's there to guard?" he asks, his voice an echo of his weariness. "Nothing ever comes through anymore but you."

"And here I thought you'd be grateful. I'm doing a you a favor. I don't have to guard my side of the gate, after all. I could send more crazies through at any moment."

She eyes S'fara, curled up beneath a scraggly bush a few feet away, purring softly in sweet sleep.

"At least I'd have something to do." He sighs heavily. "This door is too dangerous to leave unguarded, but having the job of guarding it is just..."

"You miss home." It's there, out in the distance, across the water; Bravil, it's high walls and peeking rooftops. She's been afraid to ask until now, but she swallows hard and asks anyway. "Do you have a family back there?"

He's never mentioned anyone before, not loved ones, not friends. He's serious, brooding, no nonsense and all chivalry. Even if it wasn't his responsibility, he'd be out here, guarding this gate, she knows. That's probably why he was given the assignment in the first place.

"Family? Yeah." He shakes his head, giving his short hair a rub, and he doesn't know how her heart halts as his admission hangs in the air. "Overbearing father too stubborn to die, useless brother who thinks he knows everything. Couple of drinking buddies I'd call friends who're more like family than either of those two, and I don't even like those drunks."

She laughs, relief restarting the beating in her breast. "Then what are you complaining about being out here for? Doesn't sound like you'd be any happier back home."

"Probably not. I miss the barracks, though. Guard duty, making rounds. I just _sit_ here all day." He snatches up his helmet, stares himself down in the grimy reflection, then stuffs it rather roughly back onto his head. "Anything interesting happening on your side?"

_War. Death. Rebirth._

"Yeah, funny stuff."

"What more would you expect from the land of crazies?"

She laughs, and a ghost of a smile flickers across his face. "Can you believe they're sticking me in charge of the place?"

The smile's gone now, if it was ever there. "What?"

"Madgod took a vacation," she shrugs, burying the lie deep inside her; she can't face it, not yet. "Now I gotta fix the mess he left behind. Starting with this door."

She taps the empty space between them, skin resting on cool stone.

"...You're closing the gate?"

"Yes."

"And you're staying on that side?"

She doesn't want to. She almost screams it.

"Yes." His face is openly stunned, and she smiles that smile that hurts her inside. "No more guard duty."

He's silent, his face unreadable to her. He looks away then. "Good."

A crack runs through her heart. A piece tumbles away, falls into a pit of darkness she can't see into.

She nods towards the city, her smile shifting her face away from the pain. "Go enjoy your life again. Job done."

"And they're just sticking you in charge over there, just like that?"

"What did you expect?" She rolls her eyes playfully, willing the burning of emotion to hold back. "Land of the crazies, remember? Boss-man opens a door and picks a random person to hold down the fort while he's gone, no one questions it."

"When's he coming back?"

She shakes her head, leaning back, letting the light from the gate settle over her. "Not for a long, long time."

He turns, shifting in his spot to watch her, face wary, concerned. "Wait a minute. So you don't get to come back? Ever? This isn't just a 'wait for him to get back and send you home' thing, he's leaving you in charge indefinitely?"

She keeps her eyes closed, unable to look at him. "Till I'm dead."

Dead. Gone. Same difference to her. In the end, he'll be back, and she won't exist; she understands that now.

"He can't do that!"

She smirks. "_Daedra_."

"Well, he's already gone, right? Not much he can do about it if you just don't go back! Stay here, Adora."

She wants to. So much. So bad. She can't. _Can't._

"Can't."

It's crushing her.

"Why in Oblivion not!?"

"I made a friend a promise, and it's too late to back out." I smiles at him again, so painfully. "I wanted to help. And now I have to follow through with that."

She realizes she shaking about the time the tears run off the edge of her cheeks and start tiny puddles on her bare shoulders. He's staring at her, so shocked and confused she laughs a little bit, and it turns into a sob she tries to hide behind a hand.

"I made a deal with a Deadra, Gaius." She shakes her head, wiping away the tears. "I didn't know what I was getting into, but I would have done it even if I had. I saved people. I saved lives. But I had to give my own life to do it."

She falters.

"I don't belong to me any more. I'm his. And I'm dying."

It's the best she can do. And she can tell by the horror, the indignation, the despair on his face, that it isn't enough. She gets up and steps towards the gate.

"Now just wait a second!"

He's scrambling to get up, and she turns to watch him, smile back in place.

She chuckles. "Gods, I'm gonna miss this. You and me. Guard duty."

He's standing there, anger on his face, blocking out everything else, silhouetted against the sickly foliage and the horizon of dark water stretching out in the distance. She wonders if she should tell him before she goes. But that would be bad, wouldn't it? She really wants to stop hurting him like this. She just came to say goodbye.

Gaius is shouting at her, and she only finds it endearing. "What in Oblivion do you mean, you're dying? Adora, what the Daedra is going on?"

"I'm going." She says simply. "And I'm not-"

He's breaking her. The anger he's using to try and mask the pain is failing, and her heart breaks for him. She can feel it. Her voice catches, her eyes start to burn, and she has to take a deep breath to get it all out.

_And I'm not ever going to see you again._

"And I'm not ever coming back."

She gives a tiny wave and backs up into the gate.

"Bye."

She slips away. He slips out of sight. And she's back in the Shivering Isles. A few more steps back and she's leaning against Haskill's table for support, tears finally streaming down. It isn't just crying, it's sobbing, and she can't breathe, everything hurts so much.

Because that's it. And it's time to close the gate for good.

She raises her hand-

And Gaius tumbles through the light.

They both stand, staring in stunned silence, mere feet from each other under the twisting pink sky of a stormy plane of Oblivion. His sword and shield are ready, as though he expected confrontation at his entrance, but his eyes are locked on hers, and he slowly lowers his weapon.

He struggles for several moments with what to say before settling with, "Don't pretend to smile at me when you're hurting."

"I had to," she mumbles, hand still hovering in the air between them. "I had to let you go."

"Well," he grumbles right back. "I'm here anyway."

"I'm closing the door."

"I know that."

"I won't open it again."

"I know!" He snaps, taking a step towards her, then stopping uneasily.

"You should go back."

"I'm not going anywhere! And you are going to explain everything, do you understand me?"

She stares at him, unsure. When she answers, it's low but clear. "Sheogorath was cursed, and he used me to break his curse. He is no longer the Madgod. But there _must _be a Madgod. So I'm his successor. I'm turning into a Daedra. More specifically, I'm turning into Sheogorath. And I don't know how long it will take, how long I have left as 'Adora.'"

"The blazes?" He responds, his confusion obvious. "That's..."

But he trails off, watching her serious expression and knowing he can't argue with it, can't deny it.

"Go back, Gaius."

"Stop telling me to go back!"

"You can't stay here. I won't be around long, anyway."

"I'll stay for as long as you have! I'm not leaving you!"

She's crying again, and he catches himself, catches what he's saying. He made up his mind without ever making up his mind. He's that type.

"Close the gate. I'm not going back. Nothing there for me, anyway."

"And what's here for you?"

He almost growls, and she laughs, shocked and amused by it. He looks like he's going to answer, thinks better of it, throws off his reservations, and pulls her to him. His lips are rough, dry, and chapped, and the bristles of his stubble scratch her skin. But his kiss is long and firm and desperate, conveying with actions what he can't with words. She wraps her arms around him, just as desperate, clinging to him, to herself, to life, even if it's only for a little while longer. She'll take whatever she can get if he'll be there with her.

When they part, he doesn't bother to pull his head up, but holds her there against him. "Close the gate."

Slowly, she raises and lowers her hand. The light of the gate brightens, flickers, and fades. He turns slightly to watch it go, then shrugs and shifts uncomfortably in place. He keeps one arm firmly around her.

"Now what?"

She's surprised at just how embarrassed she is at what has just happened, at the continued presence of him beside her, their contact. Nervously, she replies, "I suppose I name you Consort of the realm and get you acquainted with the palace."

"I...what?"

She wrings her hands nervously. "I _am_ the Madgod. I should also go ahead and make arrangements for if we ever decide to go our separate ways. Or if I change into Sheogorath and don't remember you or something along those lines. I'll show you around the two regions – Mania and Dementia – and you can pick a place. I'll have a house made, if you like."

He stares at her before nodding in a resigned way. "Consort to a Daedra. Right."

"Have I scared you off?"

"Can't scare me off. I already had you close the gate." He flexes his hand around her waist as though to reassure himself of his decision. Unease suddenly makes him frown. "Mara's love, I hope someone feeds S'fara."


End file.
